Sorry

Sorry to my daily viewers, but like the rest of you, I am on vacation right now...SO I cannot update my blog until further notice. Sorry for the inconvenience caused, but I dont have the time to update it. Once again, sorry...

Digest No.9 A Lucky Catch

One day, when Anand was walking down to the nearby newspaper stall to get his paper, he heard a boy holding newspapers shouting:

"Extra!! Prisoner Bala has escaped!! Extra!!"! Anand walked up to him, asked him for a copy, and then he walked home with the paper. He opened in up at his house, and he read:

'Prisoner Bala, a mass murderer who was arrested last year for attempting to kill the president, has escaped. He escaped around midnight, so he mostly still lurking around the city area. If yoo see him, you are requested to call the police immediately.'

At that moment, Anand got terrified. He was scared of Bala. Even looking at his picture made him want to run to Australia and hibernate forever. And now that he escaped, Anand started sweating so much, it looked like his head was the source of the Niagara Falls, and his eyes started becoming red, as red as the devil himself.

5 days later... Anand was having his evening walk, when he walked past a tree. He thought he could hear something from the tree. He looked up and he saw a little kitten.

'Awww' Anand thought, so he started climbing up the tree. While he was climbing, he saw a policeman. Anand could not recognize him, but he looked familiar. He climed all the way to a very thin branch. That was where the kitten was. But the problem was that the branch looked so thin, it probably could not handle his weight. But he decided to go on it anyway, and so he did. By this time, the policeman he saw earlier was standing right below the tree, he looked around to make sure that no one could see him, then he looked up. He saw Anand.

The policeman pulled out a gun, and pointed it right at Anand's head.

"Listen to me. Throw down all your cash, and no one gets hurt". Anand looked down, and then it struck him.

"Your Bala, aren't you?" "Yes, I am. Now throw down all your riches and I will leave you alone." Anand was horrified. Anand rapped his hands around the branch , and he lay down. By doing so, he accidently shook the branch quite violently. The kitten fell down on Bala's face, and the branch itself caved in, and the branch with Anand on it fell down on Bala. Right a that moment, real policemen were happening to pass by when they noticed the little incident.

They ran over, and when they noticed Bala's face, they handcuffed him, and took him away. But before they took his away, they told Anand he would get a huge reward, and they took Bala away. What good luck!!

Digest No.8 Kids and Stores..

It was a hot windy fall day when suddenly; "OUCH!", a small kid yelped in pain. Jonathan was a very aggressive boy. He was always looking for a new person to fight or pick on. So today, Jonathan's dad dropped off Jonathan to play. Right then, Jonathan saw a small kid playing in a sandbox.

'Easy kid to pick on' Jonathan thought, so he ran up to the kid and he kicked right in the shin. That's where our story begins, and Jonathan's dad saw in happen while he was spinning the minivan around. His dad ran up to the little boy and asked him whether he wanted anything. Then, he turned to look a Jonathan's face.

"Son, this has been happening for too long. So I am sorry, but I have to give you the special punishment". Jonathan looked completely baffled at his dad for a few moments, and then his dad's words came into effect. Jonathan approached the kid again and said sorry. Jonathan then ran to the jungle gym.

Another dad who happened to be walking by saw what happened, and he walked to Jonathan's dad, Terry.

"Excuse me for bothering you, but I just saw what happened. I have a son who is always driving me up the wall and what ever I tell him he never obeys. Or listens. Or looks at me. Or..never mind that. I just wanted to know what the punishment was." said another dad.

"Ok, this what you tell them.... Terry whispered in the other's dad's ear with a smile.

5 days later.... Terry was walking down the path that leaded to a pharmacy. He needed an ointment for his back because... never mind. As he was walking, he noticed and recognized a man who also happened to be walking to the pharmacy the other way. He remembered instantly. It was the man he met at the park 5 days ago. He walked up to him and he said:

"Hey, did the trick work?"

"Yep, it sure did". What better way to punish a boy that to take him to a clothing store for 5 hours?"

Digest No.7 A School Election

"Oh no", Jimmy muttered under his breath. It was the last day for voting for the class president in 4th street school, and Jimmy was losing the election. He was looking at the voting boards in the school's office, and he was down by about 20 votes. Jimmy had to do something, but he couldn't think of what to do. But suddenly he thought of a plan..

It was the last period of school, and Jimmy, his opponent and the rest of the school were in the gymnasium. Jimmy and Leo (his competitor) were to do a speech, and the audience would give in their final votes. Leo finished his speech, and Jimmy was not feeling any better. He saw the crowd already filling in their vote cards. "...and now Jimmy will give his speech" said the principle. Jimmy did not hear it the first time, but his principle said it again much louder. Jimmy heard it loud and clear this time and he walked up to the mic in the middle of the stage.

Jimmy had his speech carefully planned. What he thought of doing was make the speech funny. So Jimmy launched into his speech, and when he was done, the audience was on the floor laughing! They all took out their vote cards, and they all wrote Jimmy's name. Jimmy put a smile on his face. He had no doubt now that he was going to win.

The very next day, Jimmy and Leo were called down to the office through the PA system. So after they went to the office, the secretary directed them into the principle's office. When Jimmy went in, his jaw dropped. The office was huge! There was a huge boom box on the far corner, there was an air hockey table right next to the principle's table, there was an ice-cream machine near a microwave oven on the principle's counter, and to top it off, he had an Xbox 360 and 2 wireless controllers right next to the door that leads into his room. Jimmy looked up, and he saw a huge 52 inch television perched on the wall. Jimmy couldn't believe what he was seeing, and he also looked at Leo for his reaction. He jaw was also dropped!

"Please take a seat, I have to discuss something with you" whispered the principle. Jimmy wondered why he was whispering, but he guessed it was to prevent disturbing the other classes. Jimmy took a seat, and he continued "Are you listening? Good, because I have something important to say. The staff and myself both counted the votes yesterday, and we came up with something rather unusual. Both of you got the same number of votes". At this point, Jimmy looked at Leo, and he was looking as surprised. The principle continued.

"So we have come up to a decision. Both of you are going to speak again to the school tomorrow, and the one with the better speech wins". Jimmy closed his eyes and thought for a minute. 'Yes, I have enough time to make a good speech. I will make it funny and good at the same time. That will surely get me an easy victory'. Jimmy smiled. He knew what to do. He just had to practise it...

The next day, Jimmy was in his homeroom class chatting with his friends. Then, the teacher walked in the class and sat down. She instructed the class to sit down, so Jimmy obeyed. Jimmy as just waiting for the lunch period, so he could make his speech and become class president. 4 hours later....

Jimmy, Leo, and everyone else in the school was in the gymnasium. They were all waiting for the principle to arrive. Then Jimmy and Leo would give their speeches and they would finally choose the class president.

"Jimmy, please give your speech" the principle called out, so Jimmy went to the centre of the stage and took the mic that the principle offered.

"Hey fellow students, how are you doing today"? Jimmy ratteled off with all the confidence he could muster. "GOOD!!", the crowd shouted back. So Jimmy talked for about 20 minutes, and then he bowed. Everyone cheered for Jimmy, and he walked off the stage. It was Leo's turn. Leo went to the centre of the stage and he stated a speech. At the end, everyone cheered for him too.

"Students, settle down. Thank you. Now, as you all now, these both wonderful boys gave wonderful speeches. But we could only pick one. But the problem is that the staff liked the boys equally. So we are going to tell the boys to say one thing they are going to do to help the school and the environment , and we will pick the best one" the principle said, gasping for breath because he said all that with only one.

'Fine then, it must be done' Jimmy thought, so he quickly started thinking of something to day. 'Wait' Jimmy thought, because he noticed something. Leo always used index cards when he was making speeches, so Jimmy thought of a very sly idea. He might just need to write something for Leo to say in front of all the student...

After Jimmy wrote a whole dialogue for Leo to recite, Jimmy finally found Leo. "Hey Leo, I just wanted to wish you good luck." Jimmy said slyly, and while they were chatting, Jimmy slowly slipped the index cards into Leo's pocket.

First, it was Leo's turn to say something. Leo put his hands into his pocket for his index card, but he ended up taking the one Jimmy wrote for him. He started off with a wave to the audience. Then, finally he started reading off the index card.

"Fellow students, if you choose me for your class president, I am going to enjoy my power and misuse it for my needs and not yours", said Leo proudly. At first, he looked like he had one an olympic gold medal. But that thought disappeared in a instant. The principle looked like a balloon that was going to explode any second. The students were taking out lunches and were getting ready to throw it on Leo. Leo now looked like he was going to faint because of what he just said.

"Wait, I didn't mean to say that..." Leo began, but the principle stopped him in the middle.

"Enough, you clearly are not eligable to be the class president. I am deeply sorry, but we all now know what your ambition was. Jimmy, you are the new class president!" the principle shrieked, and the crowd went wild with applause! Jimmy was the happiest kid in the world..

4 days later.... Jimmy was walking down the halls of the school when he saw Leo in detention. Jimmy asked him, and he replied"

"Everyone hates me now, even the teachers. So they give me detentions even when I do no wrong". 'I guess I have to admit my crime to the principle' Jimmy thought.

So after lunch, Jimmy went to the principle and confessed.

10 seconds later.... Jimmy was punished badly.

Digest No.6 A Halloween Special

A yellow school bus pulled in at a curve of a street. A few kids hopped out of the bus, grinning and laughing. There was only one reason at that time why they were so happy. They all had projects, and a lot of homework to finish, but it was a Friday, and it was also the last Friday of October, the 30th. So, that meant that the following day was halloween, and that meant that every kid in the country would be stuffing their faces with candy.

Our story begins with 2 friends who were playing ball in their back yard. One of the friends were named Walk, and the other one was named Run. They were both throwing the ball back and forth, when Run suddenly started a conversation.

"Hey, I want to tell you something. Today, when I was walking home from school, I heard a rumour from a ninth grader that the old lady who lives in No. 34 is a witch who can turn you into a rabbit!" "Yeah, I heard about that too. Let's not forget she also turns people into bats and then she uses them to scare off people from her house"! said Walk. "Let's make a vow buddy. Let's not go near the witches house for as long as we live!" exclaimed Run. "Yes, I agree completely" said Walk.

Later in the day, when Run was at home hanging up fake spider webs for halloween, he decided to take a break and play with his remote control helicopter he got for his eighth birthday. So he took it out of his drawer, took it outside, he turned his helicopter and his remote control on and then he pressed the button on his remote which said 'Liftoff'. The rotor started spinning, and then the helicopter started rising into the air. After a few seconds, it stopped rising and it started hovering. So he pushed the controls and the helicopter started moving in the air. Then, all of a sudden, there was a gust of wind and it blew his helicopter right to the other end of the street, and right when Run thought it could not get any worse, the helicopter flew right in No.34's backyard.

"Oh No"! Run exclaimed loudly. He started running over to the old lady's house but he stopped in his tracks. He did not want to get turned into a rabbit, or worse, a bat. So, he decided to ask his Mom to get it for him. So he went to his backyard because his Mom was doing some gardening there.

"Mom, do you mind going over to the old lady's house and get my helicopter back? asked Run The wind carried my helicopter to her backyard." "Why don't you go and ask Walk whether he wants to go with you to get it? asked Run's Mom. I am really busy with the garden, and after I finish this I have to help your dad take out the trash" "Okay Mom" replied Run, and with that, he ran over to Walk's house.

Run rang the doorbell, and Walk's dad opened. the door. His Dad said that Walk had gone out shopping for halloween with his Mom. So Run decided to wait till tomorrow. So when Run went home, he finished decorating his house for halloween, and he went to bed. He told his Mom to give him dinner in the morning....

It was 7:00 pm the following day, and everyone was out trick-or-treating. Walk and Run decided to go together. So while they were trick-or-treating, Run suddenly remembered that he needed to get his helicopter from the old lady's backyard. He told walk about it, and they decided to go after they were done trick-or-treating.

So after they finished, they removed their costumes, and they head out to the so-called "witch's" house. They went to the front door, and Walk ran the bell. Walk was going to ask Run what he was going to say to the witch, but when he saw Run's face, he thought Run was going to faint. Run was pale to his feet, and he was also shaking all over. Then, looking at Run's face, Walk told Run to wait outside. Walk was also scared to the bone, but he thought someone has to get his helicopter back sometime.Run agreed immediately, and the door opened. The hall light was on, so it was casting shadow on the lady's face. Run saw the shadowy figure, and then he ran off terrified.

"Why did he run off like that?" said a nice sweet voice. Walk calmed down immediately hearing the voice, and he said "I don't know. He is a good friend of mine. His name is Run, and my name is Walk, and we both live on the other side of the street. He was playing with his toy helicopter and the wind blew it all the way to your backyard. So I was wondering whether I could get it". "Sure, and while your at it, why don't you stay for a while, and I can get you some home made candy for halloween" the shadowy figure replied.

So after a while, Walk was sitting in the large, ornate living room with a huge chandelier hanging from the ceiling, a huge coffee table in the centre of the room, and there was also a huge LCD screen TV standing at the front end of the room. So the woman named Michelle started a conversation with Walk, about halloween and how it began. By that time, Run was getting worried. It had been 20 minutes since Walk had gone in, and he had a bad feeling that Walk was now a rabbit.

'I shouldn't have gone running like that, I must save my friend' Run thought, and with that, he started running toward the house without hesitation. The front door was open so he walked in, took a deep breath, and he started running like there was no tomorrow.

"WALK, I'M COMING!" Run shouted, and he ran straight in the living room, he grabbed Walk, he ran around the room trying to dodge Michelle as he was at it, and in the process of escaping, (or at least, trying to escape) he pushed down the TV, he jumped onto the coffee table so it broke into half, and after all the running, he also ran over poor Michelle.

So after a few minutes, Walk explained the whole thing, and how Michelle was actually a nice lady. Michelle also forgave Run, but she also told him to come every day after school for a month to her house for household choirs to play her back for the TV and her smashed up coffee table.

So, that is how the story went and maybe, just maybe, that also happened to you too. So maybe for the next week, keep your toys at home, and get your goody bags out. Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you the last bit of the story. Here it is... and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

So after the month of November, Run was exhausted, because of constant work from Michelle. Well, he deserved it anyway, for what he did, and when he was going to sleep on the last day of November, believe it or not, but when he looked outside his window, he thought he saw Michelle out on a broom into the night's sky. Run thought he was hallucinating, but he believed it when he looked outside his window again. Michelle was hovering on a broom right outside his window, and she also did a little somersault on her broom. She zoomed off laughing like any witch does. Run never read comics or watched TV again in his life.....

Digest No.5 The Pickpocket

One fine summer day, Alexander was walking down to the subway station. He reached an intersection before the subway station, so he was going to cross, put he heard a man shout "HELP! A pickpocket stole my wallet!

Alexander ran to the man and asked him in which direction the pickpocket went. "The pickpocket went that way", and he pointed at the stairs which take you underground to the subway. Alexander ran to the subway station and he saw a slim man, about in his 40's, and he was slipping a wallet into his pocket.

"THIEF", Alexander shouted and ran towards him. The man ran off into a subway train. Alexander also followed him into the subway train. He found the man but he could not get to him because there was a huge crowd in between. Then, Alexander thought of an idea.

Alexander shouted "First one who pins that man down will find a check for a million dollars in his pocket!" As Alexander thought, the greedy would strike. Everyone in between Alexander and the man circled the man, and they all jumped on the man. One of the men who was pinning the man down shouted "I found a wallet!" "I found another wallet!" shouted a woman. "I found 3 wallets in his coat!" "NO!!!!" shouted the pickpocket.

After Alexander then explained to the people that he was a pickpocket, they all got off on the next stop, and they sent the wallets to the respective owners. Before Alexander slept that night, he thought of the moral of this whole 'episode', and that is: Always put your wallet in your underwear before you leave the house!

Digest No.4 A Truth Between Lies

"Please watch over my business with care. Make sure all the profits goes to my bank account. I will give you 20 percent of the profit after I come back from Paris", said Daniel, who was taking papers from his desk and stuffing it all into his briefcase. He was going to Paris, France for some business, and he was entrusting his friend his business and his profits with his friend while he was gone. "OK, I will keep your business going strong", said his friend Michael with full sincerity.

One week had gone by, and Daniel came back from his trip from Paris. He went straight to his office and when he went there, he saw a note on his desk. He picked it up, and he read it:

Dear Daniel,

I hope your trip to Paris was good. I have cleaned your office and I have stacked the new requests from other people on the bottom-right drawer of the desk. I am at home right now, so you can meet me any time you want.

Regards,

Michael

So Daniel sat down on his desk and he checked his mail and his profits on his computer. He typed his bank account number as his login password to access his computer, but the computer did not let him log in. It said incorrect password. So he took out his laptop and checked his profits from there. He had no money left in his bank. His friend stole all his money and put it in his own account. So Daniel called his friend, and as soon as Daniel brought the matter up, his friend Michael hung up the phone immediately. 'He cheated me and stole my money, I should have never trusted him' Daniel thought furiously. So Daniel called Michael again, Michael did not pick up. But Daniel expected this to happen, so he decided to take this matter to court.

5 Days later, Daniel and Michael were sitting in front of the judge and none of them were happy. Daniel wanted his money, Michael wanted the money for himself, and the judge just wanted to go home and sleep for the rest of his life. So the judge shouted 'SILENCE', and he banged his gabel on the large ornate table in front of him. "Now, Daniel, it seems you have filed a case against Michael for stealing your money while you were on a business trip" said the judge solemnly. "Yes, that is correct your honour" said Daniel. So after arguing for 2 hours straight, the judge came up with a plan to tell who was the true owner of the money.

So the judge shouted "KEEP QUIET, OR I WILL HOSE YOU ALL DOWN WITH CHILLI SAUCE!, and that was it to keep them all quiet. Then, the judge spoke again "On one hundred dollar note, there was a secret code written on it, and so, only the true owner would know what the code is". Daniel was thinking 'What code is he talking about?', and Michael spoke "Ah yes, the code. I know it is there, but I forgot what the code was, ah, what was i... he could not finish his thought because the judge shouted "Seize Michael! He is the phony!", and before Michael could say French Fries, he was pined down to the ground by about 6 guards.

A month later, Daniel got his money back and Michael was never heard of again...

Digest No.3 A Stich In Time Saves Nine

On one cold Winter day, Rajesh was late. He had to go the bank every day at 4:00 o'clock in the morning for his shift, and he accidentally knocked down his alarm clock with his hand because he normally moves a lot when he sleeps. So he ran to the front door, got his winter jacket from the coat rack, and he ran outside. Then, he ran back in because he forgot his car keys. So after he got them, he set off to the bank in a hurry.

Rajesh's boss was worried more than he was angry. 'Rajesh is never late, I wonder wha....' he could not finish his thought because he then the bank door opening and then he saw one man holding a gun. The man said in a very gruff voice "NOBODY MOVE! TELL ME THE COMBINATION OF THE SAFE AND I WILL TAKE THE MONEY IN PEACE!" The boss had no choice. He walked towards the safe.

Rajesh parked his car in the parking lot in a hurry, he rushed towards the front door and he pushed open the door. He was about to say 'Sorry I am so late boss', but he tripped on his shoe lace and he fell down on top of the man with the gun. The gun fell down and the boss swept down to his feet and got it. One of the hostages called 911 and the police arrived seconds later. Then, when they saw Rajesh on top of the man, they thought he tackled him on his own, so they lifted him up, and one of the policemen said "Without you everyone of the hostages might have been killed, so we will send you a nice big reward sometime of the week."

Rajesh was still dazed when the policeman was talking, so he heard it as "You fool, how dare you do my job for me??!! Taste the fury of my Kung Fu moves!!!" So Rajesh fainted and an ambulance came to pick him up a minute later. Then, 1 week later, Rajesh checked his mail and he got a nice big reward for his bravery. Rajesh will never know why...

Digest No.2 A Bad Cavity (Short Comedy)

"OW!!!" exclaimed Big Head. He was playing at his friend's house, (and as you can guess, his friend's name is Small Head) and every time he opened his mouth to say something his mouth hurt because he had a very bad cavity. His friend Small Head said "why don't you tell your parents and go to a dentist? They fixed my cavity and it did not hurt a bit". "Fine, but if you eat all those awesome cookies your Mom made for both of us, I will destroy you!" Big Head shouted, and then he left the room.

A couple hours later, Big Head's Dad drove Big Head to the dentist. Then, when it was finally his turn, he went in the room. The dentist, by the name of White Teeth, took out a torch from his pocket, and he told Big Head to sit down. After Big Head Sat, White Teeth stepped towards Big Head, he leaned over, he took a few steps closer, and... "OW"! exclaimed Big Head.

"My good sir, this is a torch, not a drill, and I haven't touched yet, so why on Earth are you yelling in pain"? "Because, you delinquent, you are standing on my feet!" shouted Big Head angrily. "Oh", said the ashamed dentist, and he stepped back a little, and a few minutes later, Big Head got his cavity filled, and he was charged extra for calling the dentist a delinquent, even if it was for a good reason! Just his Luck!

Digest No.1 The Foolishness of the King

In the city of Grape Juice, the Grape police force chief had been very worried, because of recent robberies, and the problem was that he could not find the thief or even get any evidence of the thief. 'The thief is very cunning, so I have to wait for an opportunity to get him red-handed. "HELP", a city person cried out loud, and reluctantly, the Chief turned around. He saw a man run towards him, and he said in a huff "A robber just grabbed my wallet from my hand, and he took off. I did not see his features because he took of like lightning." "Why on Earth were you holding the wallet in your hand?" the chief asked him. The man did not answer. He just turned around and looked down at the ground in shame.

So after that incident, the chief remembered that he was to see the Mayor in 2 days and give a report on the thief. If he did not get the thief, he would be fired. He had all his men on the case for the next 2 days, and he looked into it as far as possible. He had no luck.

The chief look worried. He did not know what to say to the Mayor. He was in the city hall, and the Mayor (by the name of Fruit Punch) was sitting in front of him, and the Mayor did not look happy. The chief gave his report, and the Mayor yelled "YOU BUFFOON! YOU CANNOT EVEN GET A THIEF? A THIEF THAT IS WORKING ALONE!!!" " But Mayor, even you cannot get him, even if you get the whole city to look for him." the scared chief replied. "Oh ho, is that right? Then, tonight I will go on my own and get him by the night's over. I will have the thief in jail by the time the sun starts rising"

So when the sun went down completely behind the horizon, the Mayor stepped outside of the City Hall, and he walked to his car. Then, before he got in, he saw smoke coming up from the other side of the wall. 'The other side is forest area, so I better get my torch' he thought to himself. He told his guards to watch the City Hall, and then the Mayor walked to the other end of the wall. He turned, and then he saw a fire, and a man behind it. The Mayor assumed he was in his 20's. So, with watching the man the whole time, he walked up to him, and the Mayor asked "Who are you"? The man replied "I am a man who feeds a thief who comes here. I do it because he pays me a lot".

"Will you help me catch the thief tonight when he comes"? the Mayor asked. "Sure, but take off you jewellery and keep it beside me so he will not steal it" the man replied. 'That is a good idea' the Mayor thought, so he removed his solid gold necklace and his solid gold ring (that his wife bought him) and he gave it to the man.

So, they sat for a long time, and then the Mayor asked him "why is the thief not coming"? the mayor asked. "He probably is scared coming because I am with another man, so why don't you hide so he does not see you" the man replied quickly. "But where do I hide" the mayor asked. The man pointed to a sack that was beside the roaring fire. "But on a second thought, that will be really stuffy..." the Man could not finish. The Mayor already was half in the bag, and all he needed to to now was to conceal his head. So the Mayor told the man "well, tie me up from the top so he will not see my head." So the man tied up the bad nicely, and then the man, with the Mayor's jewels, ran off into the wilderness.

The Mayor waited in there for two hours, and then he called out " Hello, anybody there"? The Mayor then new he had been cheated. Then, the Mayor's guards were getting worried, so they went looking for him. Then, they found him in a sack, so they untied him, and the Mayor said "not a word about this, to ANYONE" and the guards nodded their heads.

A few days later, the chief of Grape Juice police found and captured the thief, and then the Mayor rewarded him for capturing him.